Mumbai - the rudest city in the world?

Suketu Mehta (SM), author “Maximum city”, recently refuted Reader’s Digest claim of Mumbai being the rudest city in the world, in the June 26th WSJ. I had an opportunity to read the critical piece only yesterday in India Today, and given the content of the rebuttal, I thought I too will jot down a few words about the ranking and more so about the SM article.

Firstly, about the rankings, yes, the RD survey is based on rating “… people on opening doors, saying Thanking you, and picking up dropped papers…” as rightly pointed out by SM, but each one of these three things show more about the people’s character and their thinking than the so called “alternative criteria” proposed by SM.

What does a simple opening of the door for the others mean? Probably not much to SM or his fellow Mumbaikars, who take pride on the fact that there are professional door-openers waiting everywhere to open the doors for others. However, let me ask you what does it mean to you, if someone opens the door for you? It is not as if you can’t open the door yourself, it is more of a simple courtesy, the absence of which can very well be treated as a sign of haughtiness. However, SM in his supposed defending of his fellow Mumbaikars, definitely makes a couple of points – Opening the door doesn’t mean much, and so we have a few fellow countrymen of ours put up to do it, as it is the gesture doesn’t mean anything to us, or the person holding the door open. Good going Mr. SM, I think RD’s claim was less insulting.

The second criterion is however defended agreeably, and when we nod our head as a gesture of thanks, the same can be taken as a sign of verbal “thank you”. As it is we do not have enough time for ourselves, and we save a precious 2.38 seconds by nodding our head as against saying a proper “thank you”.

But, it is the third one that is the most interesting. SM could probably never have defended the argument that Mumbai is too busy to help the clumsy people who keep on dropping there papers. A scan of the recent news will show that a couple of deaths have taken place at the railway stations of the city SM is proud of, because people don’t have the time to help a poor little girl, having an asthma attack, or they didn’t bother pushing someone down the running train, in a hurry to get down.

But, what I thought was most remarkable was when the NY settled SM, quotes a 9-year old edition of the same RD magazine to justify the whole-heartedness of Mumbai by saying, “"If you are late for work in the morning in Bombay, and you reach the station as the train is leaving the platform, you can run up to the packed compartments and find many hands stretching out to grab you on board, unfolding outward from the train like petals. As you run alongside the train, you will be picked up and some tiny space will be made for your feet on the edge of the open doorway. The rest is up to you. You will probably have to hang on to the door frame with your fingertips, being careful not to lean out too far lest you get decapitated by a pole placed too close to the tracks. But consider what has happened. Your fellow passengers, already packed tighter than cattle are legally allowed to be, their shirts already drenched in sweat in the badly ventilated compartment. They know that your boss might yell at you or cut your pay if you miss the train." Hmmm. Nice argument Mr. SM, but isn’t that a little old? Oh, I know, you haven’t visited Mumbai in years, even though you say you love it. Obviously, you will love it; after all, a book on this city has made you a best selling author, isn’t it? But, keeping the praise for Mr. SM apart, everyone in Goregaon knows that they can’t get into a train coming from Borivli, because none of the existing passengers will allow them in, and rudely ask them to wait for a train starting from there. It is a different thing that the same trains, considered the “lifeline of the city”, kill close to 4000 people every year, but then that’s not a big deal in a city of 2 crores. Correct Mr. SM?

I can’t possibly comment on whether the city is the rudest or not, but I can definitely say, that in a city where people have lost their dignity in a crowd, and where they have to fight for a small space to live, to stand in a queue to get an iota of anything and travel a chaotic demeaning journey daily, they have definitely done away on the small courtesies to one and all, be it thanking them, or helping them in picking up their papers. Hail Mumbai, the financial capital of the country, where in a spate of big money, small change and the small tokens of courtesy and humanity have taken a backseat.

Will write something more non-critical, non-satirical very soon. Comments please. Ciao!